... we had to go to the doggie sick room and get checked out last week because, like ... we have Ivan now and Mommie and Big Daddy wanted to make sure we were ok, I guess ... 'cause like ... Ivan was sick before and now she's not but they didn't want to take any chances ... I don't know what kind of chances but I know I don't like to go to the doggie sick room 'cause ... like ... last time I went there they made me go sleepy for a long time and when I woke up I felt bad and had a zipper on my tummy ... and like .. it got all itchy and stuff ... and I licked and Mommie was not happy about that ... cause, like, I think it was bad or something ... and then, guess what??!! ... they made me wear a lampshade over my head and stuff ... it was so lame .. and like, the rat ... he made fun of me and all ... and I got so upset that I pee'd on Big Daddy's pillow ... and like, I just wasn't myself for so long ... but like when Mommie and Big Daddy put the ropes on us and put us in the car ... like, we were all excited and stuff ... 'cause riding around is so cool ... but then we went to the doggie sick room ... and I was so scared ... and the rat was muttering to me that they were going to take my toy balls away ... but like, wouldn't they have to come to the house to do that? ... but anyway ... he was all like - you better run while you still can! ... and I was like - why? ... and he was like - because they're after your balls! ... and I was like - what balls? where?? ... and he was like - the ones under your legs! ... and I was like - what?? There are balls under my legs?? ... Cool!! ... and like I wanted to play with them so I was running around trying to find them and stuff ... but that made Mommie very mad and she used the mean voice on me ... and like, I had to be picked up and carried into the doggie sick room ... but anyway, we went into a little room and Mommie put the rat on the table ... and I was like - good! ... and he was like - your turn will come! ... and Ivan and I watched while the doggie sick people were touching all over him ... and then, like - gag me with a bone - they put a stick up his butt and stuff ... EEeewww!! ... and he was like - help me!! ... and I was like - serves you right since you eat so much poop and I told you to stop doing that! ... and he was like - just shut up ... and Ivan and I were laughing ... oh ... and it smelled weird in there ... but then Mommie picked up the rat and left the room ... and when she came back, guess what??!! ... it was my turn! ... and Mommie put me up on the table and stuff ... and the doggie sick people were feeling all over me ... and I was scared ... but like, Mommie kept hugging me and petting me and telling me it would be ok ... and I was just waiting on the poopie stick ... but, guess what??!! ... they didn't do that to me!! ... and when Mommie took me back to the car I made sure to tell the rat that I didn't get the poopie stick ... and he was like - that's not fair! ... and I was like - sucks to be you! ... oh ... and I don't know what happened after that 'cause I took a nap ........
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